Today is not a day that I would choose to write out a post about being thankful. This whole week has been difficult – there are many things I could blame it on – a short week b/c of a holiday Monday, late nights, cabin fever, being distracted, unfocused, kids loud and rambunctious, disobedient; too many responsibilities in hand, etc. Things are messy.
But in reality, I have no one and nothing to blame but my own choosing to wallow in the mess and not move on.
As I write this, the sun is pouring over my shoulder. The weather outside is quite nice, but we’re due for a snowstorm tonight. I’m looking forward to it actually, we have more skiing to get in still! My thankful journal is full – but a lot of the thanks have been forced, and even written through gritted teeth and fingers.
The fruit of the spirit is sadly lacking, and I’m not sure why. I am not loving, not patient, not at all kind; not gentle, not even fun. I’m a rough, gruff, sad shadow of the momma, wife, friend and child of God I desire to be.
So while I try to get my head above this water of this mess, I CHOOSE to write out my thanks….because I know that by CHOOSING to give thanks….CHOOSING joy….CHOOSING to pray and release….THEN and only then, can it happen.
This is step one.
1000 Gifts
217. Leading children’s worship at church, opportunity to teach them the truth of God’s word
218. Teaching my children to read
219. Teaching Canadian geography at co-op and home and learning a lot myself
220. My Prodir pen I got for my birthday last year
221. Writing in my “Gifts” journal
222. God’s word that sustains me
223. Boys excited about going to the Auto Show with daddy
224. A girls’ day on Saturday with my mom and sisters watching “Emma” and having high tea
225. MANY date nights/days this month
226. Family Day waffles
227. Lunch made for us by sister-in-law
228. Shared dinner with family members
229. Snow still on the ground!
230. Vanilla icecream
231. My Oma letting her hair go fully white (no more colouring!)
232. Hiring a new babysitter when our usual ones weren’t available :0)
233. Can of coke for the boys
234. Pitcher and glasses from hubby’s Grandma
235. Our computer/entertainment cupboard gifted from friends
I can feel some of the tension easing already… and I remember Ephesians 3:14-18 (thank you for the reminder Rebecca!) and one of my favourite songs from Wes King…yes, that’s going back a ways…
Incomparable kindness to less than the least
To the broken, the battered, and weak
To all who are hungry there comes a call
To be filled with the fullness of God
It’s beyond all you can see
Farther than you’d believe
It’s a mystery
My prayer for you is that you would know
How wide, and how long, and how high, how deep is the love
How deep is the love of Christ
Thank you Lord for the joy of recounting the blessings that you have given to me….and for the depth, breadth, height and length of your love, no matter how I am feeling.
